Book Club
by MaggieMayI
Summary: Joining the Dharma Initiative book club in 1975 has Juliet thinking about how much she has changed since her time on the island before the crash of Oceanic Flight 815, and what it was that changed her. Did her past affect her future? Juliet/Sawyer


**Book Club**

Juliet stopped by the rec center on her way home from the motor pool. She and James had had a heated discussion the previous evening about whom, between the two of them, would be able to claim the title 'king of scrabble'. Juliet decided that instead of continuing to insist that she would chew him up and spit him out--all while playing all seven of her tiles, one of which would be on a triple word score--she would simply prove to him once and for all that he was no match for her scrabble superiority; hence the mission to swipe the board game from the rec center so that she could claim her title after they ate dinner.

She was half way out the door, board game in hand, when she noticed a flyer tacked to the community board. _"First ever book club meeting. Hosted by Amy and Horace. Thursday, 7pm. Bring your book ideas, first book will be picked then." _Juliet's interest was piqued. She and James would often spend nights reading from their shelf of books; over the past year and a half they'd spent countless hours picking apart anything they could get their hands on. Unfortunately, living in the mid 70's meant that many of their favorites hadn't even been written yet, and being on the island, their choices of what had been written were still very limited, but Juliet liked that they had the opportunity to read some of the 'classics'.

"_Hmm, a book club…"_ Juliet thought, _"this could be interesting."_ Juliet thought back a few years--or thought forward 30 years in the future if she wanted to get technical--to the last time she'd been in a book club. Her life on the island was very different in 2004; she was still amazed at how much she had changed in just under two years. Back then she was constantly living in fear that Ben would do something to her, force her even further into a situation she didn't want to be in, or even worse, do harm to her sister and/or nephew. Juliet knew she always had to act perfect, be perfect, in order to stay under the radar.

She was the last out of the group to host a meeting; the book she'd chosen for the group to read was Stephen King's 'Carrie'. She'd read many Stephen King novels in her life, but 'Carrie' was by far her favorite. She'd chosen it for her book club meeting for several reasons: 1. no one had chosen it before, 2. she heard through someone that Ben liked Stephen King, 3. she knew the story inside and out and, 4. amazingly there were enough copies lying around that she didn't have to place a special order with the sub; anything to make things easier.

The day of her meeting came and she was truly nervous. She wanted to be a good hostess, wanted to prove to Ben that she could handle a gathering of friends, but she'd been disappointed when he hadn't shown up, and she had berated herself for letting Ben make her feel that way. It seemed like every time she wanted to show him she was strong and could handle her own; he made her feel completely insignificant; sometimes without even being there. They never did get though that meeting, the fateful crash of Oceanic Flight 815 had cut the discussion short.

Bringing herself back to the present time, Juliet headed out the door towards home. She decided she would join the book club, and she'd see if James wanted to as well. It would be fun coming up with a few suggestions of books to read. As her thoughts of her 'pre crash' time on the island faded, Juliet smiled. She was excited to go home, eat dinner and kick some scrabble ass.

* * *

Thursday, 7pm.

Juliet was only running a minute behind, but felt bad—she didn't want to disrespect Horace and Amy by showing up late. As hard as she tried, Juliet couldn't get James to come with her. _"Big, bad, head of security didn't want anyone knowing he was a word worm."_ Juliet thought. At first she was disappointed because she thought it would be something they could do together, but then she just realized it was funny. James was reverting back to grade school days…the big man on the playground didn't want the others knowing he was secretly a dork. She figured he'd end up reading all the books anyway, and they could have their own discussions before she went to meetings.

Juliet knocked and then walked in the house when she heard someone shout a greeting within. She entered the living room and saw there was a good group of people gathered. Everyone was mingling, Amy had laid out a few hors'devours, and people were enjoying the food and recounting their day. Juliet grabbed a glass of punch and found a spot on the couch next to Amy. The two engaged in small talk for a few minutes, then were quieted along with everyone else by Horace.

"Thank you all for coming tonight," Horace began. "Tonight will be very informal, we figured we'd lay out the ground rules for the club and then we'd take everyone's suggestions and pick out the first book. Amy and I decided that we'll put all suggestions into a jar and draw one out. The person who suggested the title will host the first meeting. At the end of the next meeting we'll simply draw names for subsequent meetings. As your turn arises, you can then pick the title of your choice. We'll have meetings once a month, this way you'll have adequate time to finish each book." Horace paused for a minute and looked around. "Any questions, objections or suggestions?"

There was a bit of murmuring but no one seemed to object to the plan.

"Alrighty then, let's get started." Horace moved over to a side table where a stack of paper slips and pens were sitting. "Amy and I will hand out these slips, take as many as you'd like. Write down your suggestions along with your name, fold them up and place them in the jar."

The next few minutes involved quiet whispers and the sound of pen scratching against paper. Juliet took two slips and wrote down her name as well as her choices. Her first choice was a novel by Donald Goines titled 'Never Die Alone.' Juliet figured she was over-referencing her initial stay on the island, but she had read this book during her third year there. Goines, an African American, wrote the novel while in prison. At the time, feeling like a prisoner herself, she had a real connection to the story and therefore a good handle on the book. Her second choice was 'Jaws' by Peter Benchley. No one in the Dharma Initiative had ever experienced Jaws brought to life by Steven Spielberg, seeing as it had just been released in theaters, but Juliet at least wanted to introduce them to the story. Both of Juliet's picks were published in 1974 which she felt signified the start of her new life with James, and both, to her knowledge, had never been read by anyone in Dharma.

She, along with everyone else present placed their picks into the jar that rested at the center of the coffee table. Once everyone was finished, Horace picked up the jar and asked Amy to do the honors. Amy closed her eyes, reached in and dug for the pick. She pulled the slip out, read it, smiled and handed it to Horace.

"Drum roll please," Horace said and some of the men started drumming their hands and feet. "Our first ever book club book has been picked by our very own Casey. She has picked…Stephen King's 'Carrie'!"

Amy turned towards Juliet with a huge smile on her face, "I'm so excited!" she exclaimed. "Stephen King is my favorite! 'Carrie' has been out for over a year but we haven't gotten it here yet. This is great!"

Juliet smiled at Amy while laughing to herself and contemplating the irony of the situation. Funny that 'Carrie' had also been published in 1974 but she hadn't even thought of it as an option. "Out of all the books in the world…" Juliet pondered. But she didn't have time to think any longer.

"Alright that wraps up our meeting. The next meeting will be one month from tonight at Casey's house." Horace stated. "I'll order the books first thing in the morning. The sub comes back next Tuesday. Stop by the rec center after work then to grab your copy."

Everyone said their goodbyes and shuffled out of the house. When it was Juliet's turn she thanked Amy and Horace for the lovely evening and then headed home.

* * *

Arriving back at chateau de LeFleur, Juliet found James sitting out on the porch sipping a beer.

"What's the verdict Blondie?" James drawled as he patted the empty space next to him.

"Carrie," Juliet said as she sat down and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Pigs blood, crazy chick?" James asked. "Maybe I shoulda joined this book club after all." He wrapped his arm around Juliet's shoulder and drew her in closer. "So where's my copy?"

Juliet laughed and snuggled in. "Sorry word worm, copies don't get here until next Tuesday."

"Bummer," James said as he took another sip of beer.

They sat for awhile in silence just watching the stars.

* * *

Tuesday arrived and Juliet headed over to the rec center to pick up her book. She walked in the door and saw a stack of brand new books sitting on the pool table. She walked over, picked one up off the top of the pile and turned it over to look at the front cover.

With a quick jolt she realized that it was the same dust jacket that had covered her copy of 'Carrie' in 2004, but this copy was in pristine condition—hot off the press. The copy she'd had in 2004 was well worn and well used; so many of the pages had been earmarked, a few of the users had even written on some of the pages. Forgetting what year she was in, Juliet turned to the inside of the back cover, as she had done countless times before, to see if the inscription was still there. When she came upon the blank page, she foolishly realized the book was brand new and wasn't the same as her copy from the future. She became sad for a moment because the written words that had initially motivated her to make changes in her life simply weren't there.

As she stared at the blank page, Juliet thought back to the first time she'd finished reading her on island copy of 'Carrie'. Every time she read the book she felt true sorrow for Carrie, but somehow reading the story in her current situation, Juliet felt even sadder. In so many ways, the character reminded Juliet of herself—shy and reserved, unable to fit in, unable to make friends. Juliet had spent so many years walking in Edmund's shadow; it was like she lost herself, and who she was. In a way Juliet envied Carrie because she was able to act on her pent up rage. Granted the things she did to her classmates were crazy, at least she'd had the courage to show how she felt; Juliet just kept it all inside.

Thinking about choices she could have made that would have changed her life drastically—like never agreeing to come to the island in the first place--Juliet continued to flip the pages of the book even after the last words had been read. She never understood what the purpose was for having blank pages at the end of a book. She reached the back cover as she reached the end of memory lane and was about to close the book when she noticed a tiny inscription towards the bottom. "Always believe in yourself, because I'll always believe in you. ~ JL."

"_What an odd thing to write,"_ Juliet thought to herself. She assumed that whoever had had the copy before her, also felt a strong connection to the book, and the inscription was a little mood booster to get the owner feeling better about him or herself. Juliet read the book two more times before her book club meeting, but it was the inside of the back cover that she couldn't divert her attention from. She thought about it night and day, the fact that someone could believe in someone else that much; she wished that she had a person like that in her life. Of course Rachel had believed in her, but she had been on the island and away from her sister for so long, she was so…lonely. Thinking of Rachel, and reading the inscription again, Juliet knew that the only way to get back to her sister was to start believing in herself, to start doing what needed to be done in order to change her fate. _"Benjamin Linus may be holding me prisoner here," _she thought, _"but I have control of my destiny."_

* * *

The slamming door had Juliet snapping out of her revere. She looked down seeing the brand new copy of Carrie still in her hands, and then looked up to see where the noise had come from. Horace had entered the rec center and was walking towards the stack of books.

"Came to get mine and Amy's copies," Horace mentioned as he grabbed two of the books.

"You're going to love it," Juliet said absentmindedly as she looked back down at the cover.

"Oh you've read it?" Horace asked while looking a bit confused.

"_Oops,"_ Juliet thought but quickly recovered. "Oh no! I just heard it was a great story. I'm going home right now to get started on it!"

Horace nodded, still looking a little weary. "Alrighty then, tell Jim I said hi. Enjoy the book!"

"Sure will!" Juliet responded while mentally kicking herself. Before she could get herself in any more trouble, she headed home to get started with her story.

* * *

James walked in the house after his shift and found Juliet sitting in her familiar place on the couch, immersed in the book. "How's the readin' goin' Blondie?" She looked up and gave him that Juliet smile. He walked over and bent down to kiss her; she turned her face up to meet his lips halfway.

They pulled apart and Juliet sighed loudly. "What's the trouble?" James asked as he took a seat in his chair.

Shutting the book, and not knowing what inspired her, Juliet started babbling. "God sometimes I wished that I was Carrie, that I had telekinesis and that I could've used my power to wipe out Ben before he was able to let any of this happen. So many times in that three years I spent here prior to you and your friends arriving, that man just put me down, put me in my place, made me feel so small, so insignificant. No wonder I couldn't help any women on this island, I never believed that I could."

"Whoa, whoa, settle down there cowboy," James said as he got up to sit next to Juliet. "Why the dreary thoughts?"

"Oh just seeing this book again reminded me of the time I spent here before. Did I mention that I was hosting a book club meeting for this very book the day you crashed on the island?"

James chuckled at that. "No I think you missed that detail." He said as he put his arm around her. "Juliet I know we've talked about our pasts before, but I still find it hard to believe that you didn't believe in yourself, that you were that different a person. I mean, you're so strong…sometimes I feel like I rely on you more than you rely on me, ya know?"

Juliet knew he was putting himself on the line to tell her how much he believed in her. "When I read this book for the first time on the island, well, for the third time actually, I started to see things differently. Yeah Carrie is nuts, but she wasn't afraid to take control of her own life. That was something I didn't believe I could do. You have to know that I believe in you just as much as you believe in me—don't you? I mean why else would we be where we are right now?"

James looked at her and smiled then pulled her close for one of his famous forehead kisses. He grabbed the book from Juliet started leafing towards the back.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Well…I always like to read King backwards." He stated matter-of-factly.

Juliet laughed, she shook her head then laid it on his shoulder as she closed her eyes. "I'll always believe in you James, but sometimes I just don't understand you…"

After reading the last page, James grabbed a pen out of his front pocket. He turned to the back of the book and started scribbling. The sound had Juliet opening her eyes and what she saw when she read his words made her lose her breath for a moment.

Written at the back of her brand new book, in his handwriting, with ink that was still wet, was the inscription: "Always believe in yourself, because I'll always believe in you. ~ JL."

"_JL,"_ Juliet thought. _"James LaFleur." _Juliet couldn't help the stream of tears that suddenly fell down her cheeks. She turned and lunged herself into James' arms and squeezed him as tight as she could.

"Well hey there Juliet," James said with a hint of confusion in his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Juliet laughed, pulled back, and gave James a tear filled kiss. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" She asked as she wiped away the water on her cheeks.

"Well I don't think you have." James stated playfully as he helped her remove more moisture with the pad of his thumb. "Maybe you should say it again just to be sure I believe you."

She gave him her best smile. "I love you James" Juliet said as she stared deep into his eyes. She went in for another hug and buried her face in his neck. "Believe it."


End file.
